I'm obsessed with LinkedIn. I'm building a huge network.
I'll invite everyone I ever saw or talked to or did some business with. And everyone I think I ever have seen or talked to or did some business with. In the meantime I'm waiting for business deals. 
After all this time people finally know where to find me. All the business deals they had in mind... well I'm ready to negotiate.
Got Email! Voltaire is following me on Twitter now. Voltaire? The enlighted philosopher? Great, let's check his LinkedIn profile!